In some country it is illegal to smack, hit or hurt your kids which is fair enough. In some country in the other hand the government didn't do anything about it, some parents call it a tough love.Here in NZ it is illegal to smack our kids and most of the parents practice to give the kids a time out time, naughty chair, naughty zone, sent them to their bedroom anything to correct their bad behaviour. I grew up in the Philippines where bought of my parents smack us with anything closer to them, i am not saying that what they are doing is right or wrong...i am raised as good child and always have the same respect to my parents.
Before i have my own kids i always have the same mentality with some not most but some parents in the Philippines tough love -- now that i have my own, i am in the reality of motherhood i have this constant battle within my mind and heart of how to correct my kids attitudes i watch supper nanny the British show and i learned a lot. I read a lot of parenting magazine and books too because i love my kids and i don't want to raise them in a wrong way but which one is correct and which one is wrong? how can we tell we lead them in a correct path. Ooh! parenting i have this ever growing appreciation with my parents the more my kids grow and learned from them the more appreciation grow.
With my two kids, a 4 years old and soon to be 2 years old, This is what i learned so far -- Ask, Tell, Act method and i can say that it is hard to achieve unless you are very consistent and stand to it, follow through and be brave, because it is hard to resist their with their cuteness and have that cry that makes you always want to hug them and kiss them. Just yesterday my son test my Ask, tell, act method which by the way i just learned this from reading my favorite magazine -- he doesn't like to be in the naughty mat so before he keep on crying and getting off from the naughty mat where he supposed to stay there to four minutes, so we have this back and fort until he surrender and quietly serves he's time. Consistent is what make them listen and i learned from my kids and it makes me feel good as a parent.
I am not sure of how many parents practice this but i find it effective and at the same time i have not hurt my kids in the process...i know that some parent's dis-agree this method but i think this is what works for me.
What about you? how do you make your kiddos behave appropriately?
I was spanked as a child, too. Like your experience, my mom used to spank me with slippers, belt, or anything within her reach. But I grew up fine and truly appreciated her kind of discipline when I got a little older. I mean comparing myself to other children my age then, I say, I was a little matino than my cousins, who were rarely spanked. However I'm not saying spanking is the right or better way to discipline a child.
ReplyDeleteNow that I've become a mother to toddler/preschooler, there are just times when I spank his bum when he's being too much, to the nth power. But I reckon, he cries when I put him in time out than by spanking him. Or maybe, he finds my spanking bearable.
But still, no matter what kind of discipline we give to our children, they will always always test our patience.
I agree with you Katherine, Discipline is important no matter what it is as long as your kids knows that there are few things that are not acceptable and their is consequences in every miss behaving they make, that way they will learn to think twice and to us parents we are also learned to adjust and not just punish them because too much is telling them something negative aswell.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 13 yr old boy and I get the belt whenever I do something bad. Not too often, once a week on average. I get it on bare butts and legs.
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